Twitter

Although I still have no Twitter account (and not planning to get one either) there's one account I really want to share with you guys..

http://twitter.com/shitmydadsays

It's sooo effing hilarious in 120 words!

"We're out of Grape Nuts... No, what's left is for me. Sorry, I should have said "You're out of Grape Nuts."

"I just want silence. Jesus, it doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means right now, I like silence more."

"It's never the right time to have kids, but it's always the right time for screwing. God's not a dumbshit. He knows how it works."

"I don't need more friends. You got friends and all they do is ask you to help them move. Fuck that. I'm old. I'm through moving shit."

"Mom and I saw a great movie last night...No, don't remember the name. It was about a guy or, no, wait.. fuck, getting old sucks."

"Son, no one gives a shit about all the things your cell phone does. You didn't invent it, you just bought it. Anybody can do that."

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."

"Does anyone your age know how to comb their fucking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fucking."

I could like quote EVERY tweet, because they are all ROFL funny!

xoxo