Where I wanna/should be!

Sometime you just know.. Life has more for you to offer then it's showing now.. And I know, future life for me isn't back in Holland.. Although you keep reading shit about me missing wheatbread, mommy, etc. I love life in a foreign country, the pace of life in Singapore, I go out for dinner every night, meeting new beautifull people. I'm doing a new exciting thing every week. Im learning so much about life, about myself. That I'm perfectly capable to be alone in a country where I didn't knew anybody or anything. That I'm more or less able to addapt to a new culture. That life offers you beautifull things when you're opening your soul for it.

Back home tends to be the same every day/week/year.. It's so easy to stay in your comfort zone when everything is within effortless reach. You don't need to learn new people, because you already have your incrowd. You don't have to do new things, when you can stay at home and pig out cooking. Life is safe.. But safe isn't the thing for me. Ofcourse I think ahead a lot.. Im not the rebel kind who can live truelly day by day (oke, I maybe living per week now..). But save.. No thanks.

I really feel like that life's asking me to broaden my view, go to places. It offers it right? Why don't take advantage of it! My mommy decided when she was only 18 to move to a country where she didn't spoke the language (and didnt even spoke English), didn't know anybody only for the prospect to have a better life. With her pretty face and the knowledge her familiy was supporting her she traveled all the way from Hong Kong to the Netherlands. If she had the courage at that age, without the knowledge/skills I accumulated in my life, I certainly know I have the courage too!!

But I know Singapore is not the place for me. I don't feel (and don't think I ever will..) being home here and that has not so much to do that my loved ones aren't here (ofcourse it has do a little). It has more to do with the fact that I'm not ment to live in a country so small as this full with chinese and indian people (how racy this may sound...). They (in general) do not share the same principles and I don't find myself in a position willing to share them (yuk pig instentines). However a country such as America, where you have a lot of Chinese people and Indian people but also a bunch of caucasian people and I guess like every race thinkable... NY a city with it's own principles, culture and people. It sounds sooo appealing to me.

Im always in two minds whether I want to study forever or to begin real life. I LOVE studying, it provides so much free time. But thinking about it now, I don't do jack shit with all that spare time back home. I usually stay home, sleep, watch comedies and eat. But hey, I kinda like(d) it. No worries, just go to school seems to be the only requirement in my life back home. Sure, I go to work occasionaly but that's more for fun than because of a real need of money. But I also cant wait for real life. I cant wait to move somewhere, New York sounds hella good, start up my life as a grown up (yuk, grown up) make money. Buy me some Louboutins (everybody who buys Louboutins with there daddy's money is effing gay. You should be ashamed of yourself and throw yourself in front of something!), go to the most expensive spa to get my weekly facial. Never do my nails myself again, because Ill support economy by going out for my mani and pedi. Buy my parents things, because they bought me everything I wanted for so many years, putting their needs 2nd place. Have sex and the city like brunches and dinners at some awesome place in the City. I know I'm young.. But life is calling.. No, its screaming..

I think it's time to go..

xoxo

ps. Im sorry for all who requested me writing in Dutch. Hearing Alicia singin' made me sooo enthousiastic about moving to some exciting place overseas and English ofcourse goes hand in hand with that..